Buyer’s Guide: 5 Shoes from 5 Different Futures

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Buyers Guide: 5 Shoes from 5 Different Futures

The future of mankind has always remained uncertain, which is part of the fun of being a glorious little polyp swaying in the modern age. Where will we end up? One can only hypothesize. But one thing is for certain: we will need appropriate shoes for whatever awaits us.

See our five very different footwear options for five very different futures after the jump …

Buyers Guide: 5 Shoes from 5 Different Futures

Rick Owens- Black Monk Strap Military Dunk Boots

In a future where approximately 68-percent of the planet has been scorched by global warming and errant nukes, getting to the bread line is a survival game. These athletic super boots are worn by the kind of lone hero who refuses to kneel at the feet of the savage corporate opressor. Rather, he stomps on Big Brother’s toes with these beefy soles and then scales a dead skyscraper covered in vines, disappearing into the nether regions of a secret society that will one day free mankind.

Buyers Guide: 5 Shoes from 5 Different Futures

Supra – Falcon

In this vision of tomorrow, we have hoverboards, though they skim close enough to the ground that you push against the pavement to build and keep momentum. Also, no dippy footstraps. Shit is raw, though nobody notices because they are all zoned out behind micropanes of Google Glass 8.0. Still, hoverboards offer escape for a small faction of the population who aren’t bloated and immobile media slaves.

Buyers Guide: 5 Shoes from 5 Different Futures

Dolce & Gabbana – Nappa Leather Cut Out Madagascar Sneakers

A glitter bomb went off in the newly reconstructed Roman Colosseum, and these strappy sneakers protect the feet of the effete gladiators who must fight for their lives. They throw their oiled torsos into direct combat against giant robotic peacocks with razor beaks and poison tipped tail feathers that belie their enchanting beauty. The CEO of McStarbucksoft’s watches with carnal interest, sucking his pinky from a skybox seat. It’s a little intense.

Buyers Guide: 5 Shoes from 5 Different Futures

Quoddy – Grizzly Boot

Mankind has been forced to return to a more primitive lifestyle, hunting and foraging for food in a dark world bereft of electricity. Every ten years, individual tribes send their most stalwart warriors into the verdant bowels of Maine to trade ferret pelts for enough of these handmade wonders to protect the feet of their brethren for another decade. These boots are the only thing anyone can count on anymore.

Buyers Guide: 5 Shoes from 5 Different Futures

Maison Martin Margiela – Mocassin Shoes

In this vastly preferable future, everyone is just hella chill. Weed is legal everywhere, warfare has become boring even in video games, and people dress for leisure. Most of us work from home and goods are teleported around the world rather than shipped. Because of this, roadways are flanked by urban gardens and ruled by bicycles and pedestrians. The oceans are coming back from the brink of death and the air is not all that smoggy. Sporty mocassins (and a good vape) are all your really need.

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